Por que queremos tanto um relacionamento?

Estive pensando no rascunho de um texto sobre relacionamentos, quando lembrei do filme 500 dias com ela, de 2009. No filme, Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) e Summer (Zooey Deschanel) se conhecem na empresa em que trabalham e começam a se envolver. Ele, um rapaz que acredita no amor – mesmo quando ele nem exista – e ela, uma garota que não acredita na sua existência.

 

Lembro de não ter gostado do filme em um primeiro momento, e ter condenado a Summer por não ficar com o Tom. Revendo o filme, já tive uma outra percepção sobre.

 

Essa mudança de perspectiva se dá muito pela maturidade individual adquirida, da mesma forma que “evoluímos”, ou melhor, como temos transformado nossa forma de nos relacionar. O que chama atenção nesse processo de mudança é o distanciamento emocional e como tem estado estampado nas pessoas, em especial quando levamos em consideração dos mais diversos aplicativos concebidos para o estreitamento de afinidades..

 

O grande paradoxo do sujeito pós moderno, está configurado com a apresentação de um indivíduo carregado de incertezas e inseguranças, impulsivo e que ao mesmo tempo, desejar tudo (e todos) o mais próximo. A atual configuração de sociedade, ao contrário daquela apresentada no século XX, apresenta enorme dificuldade de elaboração de desejos a longo prazo. É tanta gente querendo um relacionamento sério para o número de pessoas solteiras.

 

Voltando ao filme, mesmo depois de 10 anos de seu lançamento, 500 dias com ela não sabe muito bem a proposta de apresentação ao público. Às vezes, se mostra como uma crítica à romantização do amor hollywoodiano, em outras, parece reforçar o discurso de que uma pessoa só será feliz estando em um relacionamento amoroso/afetivo. Acredito ser a segunda opção, já que a Summer se mostra plenamente feliz por está casada, e Tom reinicia sua contagem de dias ao conhecer uma nova garota.

 

 

Outro ponto a se colocar são expectativas que colocamos nessas relações. Em determinada parte do filme, a irmã de Tom diz para ele reavaliar a relação, e perceberá sinais de que nem tudo estava bem. Tom não entende o que é amar alguém. Ele ama apenas a si mesmo. Ele não ama Summer pelo que ela é, mas a visão fantasiosa, e cheia de expectativas, que ele tem dela.

 

Assistindo e refletindo, percebo o quanto Tom se mostra idealizado pelo amor de Summer, e consigo perceber que as expectativas criadas por ele, já tinham sido alertadas por ela. Então, Tom acaba por ser culpado de suas próprias frustrações e desencanto. Acaba por soar machista a culpabilidade de Summer, quando ela, basicamente, só escolheu que não queria aquilo. Simples. Por isso, que reassistir uma obra anos depois pode ser bem melhor aproveitado: para entender como você mesmo pode ter mudado de ponto de vista sobre o assunto.

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Ronan Carvalho

Designer, Gamer, Membro da Tropa dos Lanternas Amarelos e morador de Hell's Kitchen

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